With the passing of the winter solstice, I’ve found myself thinking more about moving towards the new year, and thinking even more about moving towards a time when things are lighter, both in actual fact and somewhat more metaphorically. Practically speaking, the new year is just another day, just like any other. But somehow, it still manages to feel different, like a new, fresh start. And believe you me, I feel very much like I could use a new, fresh start, complete with some changes and new habits to work on.
It’s been mentioned here, I think, and is somewhat implicit in my frequent absences from posting, but it’s been a challenging semester. There doesn’t seem to be a particularly good reason for this, and it’s highly likely that at least some of my troubles are those I create or at exacerbate for myself. I think, dwell, and just plain worry too much. I get distracted, lose focus, and am really not that good at prioritizing the things that matter the most. The things that I want and possibly even need the most are those that tend to get relegated to “later”, while the things that aren’t as important, or that don’t bring as much pleasure, are those that I focus on extensively. This has all left me feeling quite tired, out-of-sorts, and generally dissatisfied.
I in this coming year more than anything else I want to feel calmer and happier. I don’t know what the new year will bring, but I’m hoping and, more importantly, planning for change. I think there’s a lot that I can do to feel more content, and although I don’t want to jump in too quickly, I do want to start making alterations that could help me to feel better. So for these few days after the holiday and before the new year rolls over, I’ll be curled up on the couch, drinking a lot of tea, and giving a lot of thought to things like priorities, goals, needs, and desires.